Ian Roberts

Out in Sports: Gay Australian Rugby Player

(Updated February 20, 2014) London-born Australian rugby player Ian Roberts came out in 1995, the first person in the sport’s history to do so. This admission surprised many, because Ian did not fit many stereotypes of gay men. It was noteworthy that there were minimal repercussions that resulted, and lucrative endorsements continued to pour in. He remains an inspiration to young gay men all over the world who see in him a brave, tough role model who stands against the clichés of what gay men are like. However, both epilepsy and recognition of his homosexuality nearly led to his giving up the game. Instead, by the mid-1990s he had become the highest paid rugby player in Australia.

Roberts forged a stellar career as an aggressive forward with Souths, Manly and North Queensland and represented both New South Wales and Australia. In 2005, he was named one of the 25 greatest ever New South Wales players.

Ian's first clear, public statement that he was gay was made to The Advocate magazine and then quoted in a Sydney newspaper without Roberts' permission. Regardless, he never denied it, and the press jumped all over the story. News of his sexuality was followed by photos of his male partner Shane Goodwin and mention of their intention to adopt children.

Having come out, Ian was called on by most gay charities and many youth charities to do fund raising work, appear in poster campaigns, and sit on Mardi Gras floats, among others. Acutely aware of his media position, Roberts kept up a busy charity schedule as well as his Rugby League career, shifting from the Manly Sea Eagles in Sydney to the North Queensland Cowboys in Townsville. During this period his biography, Finding Out, was released.

After retiring from Rugby League at the age of 34, Ian moved to Sydney and completed an acting degree at the National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA, the alma mater of Mel Gibson)) and began a second career as an actor. Ian drastically reduced his public visibility as a sports idol and concentrated on his new career.

In a 2000 father-son newspaper interview, Ian talked about his relationship with his dad:

“Most of the time my father and I talk about sport. We never stop fighting. We've always disagreed about everything, especially politics. Dad is a bit of a racist We'd also argue about the whole gay thing. He came from the old school, where everything was black and white and no grey. Now he's mellowed; he really believes that there should be allowances for gay couples, that they should have equal rights and they should be able to marry in some form...

...I was surprised how cool he was about it when I told him I was gay; it was my mum who freaked out. I was about 25 at the time. Dad said, 'Your mum's heard something at work today; we don't believe it, but we just want to hear you say it. Tell us you're not gay.' I said, 'No, Dad, I am gay.' He went white as a sheet. Mum started screaming. Dad said, 'Shut up, Jean, and talk to your son!' I was upset, so I went out to the car, and Dad followed me. He gave me a hug and said, 'This is still your home, boy.'

We didn't bring the subject up for a while, because Mum was still having a really difficult time accepting it. One day, Dad tried to have this safe-sex talk with me. I told him that I knew what I was doing, but I appreciated his concern. He was very inquisitive; he wanted to know all about it.”

From Ian’s father:

“One of the proudest moments of my life was when he finally did come out. That took a hell of a lot of guts. I think he was just fed up with living a lie, and he got to the stage where he didn't care what people thought about him. I'd go along to watch him at the football, and some of the crap I used to hear from the crowd made me very upset.

We argue about everything. That's what most of his friends could never understand. When they first meet us, they think we're forever fighting, but it's just the way we are. We talk about everything. Nothing is taboo. I just wish he'd told us earlier. It would have been easier for me, and for him.”

Roberts finished playing professional rugby league in 1999, and began studying at the National Institute of Dramatic Art in Sydney. Roberts had a brief cameo part in the Australian film “Little Fish,” starring Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving, playing an ex-rugby league star. He appeared in the 2006 motion picture “Superman Returns” as Riley, a henchman of Lex Luthor, and the highly acclaimed Australian television series “Undervelly: A Tale of Two Cities.” Roberts also won second place in the Australian version of "Dancing with the Stars" competition.

This video features highlights of his rugby days, acting career and even some clips from "Dancing with the Stars." Enjoy.

Gareth Thomas

Welsh rugby sporting legend Gareth "Alfie" Thomas came out in 2009, while still an active player. He had captained Wales in 2005 to their first Grand Slam victory since 1978. He had one of the fiercest reputations on the field – and a row of missing front teeth to prove it. He married in 2002, but confessed the truth about his sexual orientation to his devastated wife in 2006, unable to cope with the guilt of deceiving her. They soon separated. He spilled his long-kept secret to a coach and felt a huge wave of relief after living a lie for almost 20 years.

Astonishingly, his team mates offered support; their reaction was basically, “We don’t care. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Thomas said, “No one distanced himself from me – not one single person.” He continued to play as an openly gay athlete. Although he retired from international rugby in late 2007, he went on playing with the Cardiff Blues.

By 2009 he made the bold decision to go public. He felt attitudes had changed, and the time was right for sport to start accepting openly gay people as other professions had in recent years. He didn’t want young gay athletes to have to hide in the closet to suffer in silence, too terrified to tell anyone.

“I'm not going on a crusade, but I'm proud of who I am. I feel I have achieved everything I could ever possibly have hoped to achieve out of rugby, and I did it being gay. I want to send a positive message to other gay athletes that they can do it, too.”

At age 17 he realized that he wasn't attracted to women the way his teammates were, but he was unwilling to accept it. He made up stories about sexual conquests with women to fit in with the overly-macho world of rugby players. He sometimes got into fights to affirm his masculinity, thus cementing the ruse. His first sexual experience with a man (a non-rugby player) left him feeling ashamed and afraid. During his marriage he sometimes gave in to his same-sex urges when his team was on the road. The guilt was crippling. Reaching the breaking point emotionally and psychologically, he at last confessed his secret to his wife. She tried to be understanding, but realized that her husband’s feelings for men would never dissipate. They separated, but remained firm friends based on their honest feelings for each other.

“I don't want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player first and foremost. I am a man who just happens to be gay. It's irrelevant. What I choose to do when I close the door at home has nothing to do with what I have achieved in rugby.”

Of late Thomas has become an in demand representative for gay activism, and he started a hot line for young people who are grappling with their sexuality. He has become a positive role model working against stereotypes.





One of Gareth's more revealing moments:

Rugby Player Jed Hooper

Rugby’s Old Redcliffians captain Jed Hooper has become the first Bristol Combination (SW England) player to announce publicly that he is gay. The 22-year-old forward came out to family and friends earlier this year and announced this week through a newspaper interview that he is homosexual, breaking one of the great taboos in arguably the most macho sport of all. Hooper hopes that his story can help other young rugby players come to terms with their sexuality.

A fierce competitor, Hooper ended years of anxiety connected to grappling with his true identity. The decision was far from easy. "I met a guy earlier this year who said he could not be with a man who was in the closet. That, basically, was the catalyst that I needed.”

Even so, Hooper still agonized over what he knew he had to do. "I was never going to do it bit by bit, that would have been too drawn out, so I decided to text everyone and put it on Facebook. Very quickly I must have had 40 replies, and all of them were positive."

Instantly, Hooper added, there were feelings of relief. "A massive weight came off my shoulders. If I couldn't accept myself the way I am, how could I expect my friends to? No punches were pulled with questions from the rugby lads, that's for sure. I can't repeat some of the things I was asked, but I've always been someone who has been at the center of any banter flying around, and the only thing that's changed is the type of banter. Being captain is a huge privilege, so when I made my announcement one of the first people I spoke to at Reds was our chairman, Ray Massey. I said that if the club doesn't want a gay man as its figurehead I would understand and step down. But he was brilliant and said 'you're our captain, and this doesn't change anything'. That support was massive to me."

Hooper first became aware that he was gay when he was 14. "At school, I didn't want to be with a girl, and I couldn't be with a boy, because I was a rugby player. If anyone is reading this, and they're in the same situation as me, all I want to say is don't bottle things up because, trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel. The world's not against you. If my story can help one person, then this has been worth it."

Hooper follows on the heels of Welsh rugby player Gareth "Alfie" Thomas, who came out in 2009, also while still an active player. Hooper is the most capped rugby player and the first Welshman to win 100 international caps in rugby union. In a series of media interviews since his announcement, Gareth Thomas talked about life after coming out. As well, top referee Nigel Owens recently announced his homosexuality.